A midwife, we all know, is a medical professional who provides advice, comfort, support and care during pregnancy. In fact someone who helps make the birthing process and the beginning of a life as easy and comfortable as possible. Why then shouldn’t there be another type of professional to help those leaving this life with the same ease and comfort, a midwife for the dying. The good news is that there is, thanks to the extraordinary Felicity Warner, the founder of Soul Midwives a training system she set up almost quarter of a century ago to teach end of life care. Having watched and cared for her own grandmother and stepfather die as well as volunteering at a hospice Felicity understood the need for a calm and neutral outsider to help, not just those dying, but also to help their nearest and dearest cope with what was happening.
And to this end she set up a School for Soul Midwives, which to date, has trained more than 700 end of life carers, founded the Hospice of the Heart Trust a charity which promotes an holistic, de-medicalised and compassionate approach to dying while her Soul Midwives Handbook is now a text book used not just by complementary therapists but in medical and nursing schools too.
Felicity Warner understood why some people simply need reassurance, others need to talk about their fears and sadnesses while more simply want to listen to their favourite music, play with the dog, weep, shout, hurl abuse at the world etc. – all of which can be easily dealt with when you have a midwife at hand. Too often the ill or dying person understands the fears their partners, friends and families are going through…and to avoid causing them more pain, will pretend to be brave fighting the illness and even getting the better of it. This is where an outsider comes into their own – uninvolved and sympathetic, they can listen to the fears and worries the patient really has.
This last year has been a particularly demanding one for Felicity and other soul midwives with the onslaught of Covid and the rapid rise in numbers and deaths, and it was made even more so by the numbers dying in hospitals away from their homes and loved ones, which is why it has highlighted the work of soul midwives, and the comfort they bring to both the living and the dying.
As Felicity states: “We are all dying all the time and it will help if we slow down and try to live for the moment, and if you are dealing with a loved one try to remind yourself that you can’t fix or rescue…but you can be there. You can be present.”
For further information www.soulmidwives.co.uk